In The Era of Social Media, How To Raise Children?
✍🏼 Written by: Sheikh Maqbool Ahmed Salafi Hafizahullah, Jeddah Dawah Center-Saudi Arabia
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This is the era of media and the role of social media in the types of media has become very prominent. For this reason, children, youth, old men and women, all kinds of people have been connected to it and have made it their companion for 24 hours.
There is no doubt that social media, such as WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, YouTube, and websites, etc., have countless benefits. Due to these, the world has become a village, news transmission, information provision, social and economic matters, and even the promotion of nation and religion have become very easy.
At the same time, it is also a fact that these social connections have had a profound impact on society and society, which includes young boys and girls, children, and elderly people (old men and women). The impressions and circumstances of childhood affect all stages of life.
If someone's childhood passes through the stages of colorful, musical and obscene obscenity, then their youth will be very disturbed. Youth is already a department of madness and a stage of wave and intoxication, it is up to the young person to save this stage from obscenity, whose parents have adorned him with awareness, civilization, culture, and morals in childhood. Therefore, we will have to embellish and beautify childhood with Islamic upbringing to protect the other stages of life for our children.
Psychologists say that in the early days of childhood, mental development and mental and physical abilities are rapidly growing, so this time is very sensitive. At this age, children memorize every heard thing in their mind, what is seen with the eyes is like engraving on stones, and they start learning new things quickly. The future building is constructed on this very stage of rapidly growing childhood.
In this era of trials and tribulations, various types of tests and temptations are being born, and the advent of social media has further exacerbated these temptations. For us Muslims, the upbringing of children in this trial-filled era of social media has become a question mark. It's a very difficult and serious question. Children are naturally stubborn, if they become addicted to using social media due to our negligence, then even the combined strength of the whole world cannot remove this stubbornness, and their youth, old age, and entire life will be ruined.
The tragedy of this era is that as soon as a child is born, a mobile phone is handed over to them to play with. As children become more familiar with mobile phones, their interest in them deepens. A time comes when they become accustomed to solitude. They don't feel like studying, meeting friends and relatives, or visiting them. They prefer solitude. The mobile phone gives their mind the comfort it wants. The more they become addicted to it, the more they will be prone to moral depravity, madness, violence, irritability, loneliness, dancing, singing, obscene acts, nonsense talk, and useless actions and words.
If we want to save our children's childhood and give them a bright future instead of a dark life, we need to keep them away from mobile phones now. In the following lines, I want to briefly guide you on how to raise children so that our children's childhood remains safe and their youth and old age pass in a good environment.
Good upbringing is not just a collection of eloquent words that are memorized and the child becomes educated, no, upbringing is the name of continuous hard work and effort of good morals and education. Keep this principle in mind and start the upbringing of children. The first upbringing of children is physical, and from this, their personality and character will emerge.
Islam has paid great attention to cleanliness and cleanliness should be taken care of from childhood. In physical upbringing, regular arrangement of bathing, complete care in eating and drinking, and constant attention to washing hands and face while sleeping and waking, and cleaning teeth should be done regularly, not occasionally.
In physical upbringing, attention should be paid to exercise along with cleanliness. It is not necessary to go to the gym or perform any stunts, but parents should take their children out for a walk or outing at times of leisure, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening. Avoid obscene places for outings, otherwise, there will be harm instead of benefit. Teach clean clothes, clean talk, pure habits, and good thinking habits. All this is included in physical upbringing.
The second and most important upbringing is spiritual. This is our Islamic identity. The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught children from childhood, taught them morals, made them aware of etiquette, and told them the principles of getting up, sitting, eating, drinking, and sleeping. Many of us think that he is still a child, when he grows up, he will understand himself. No, we need to educate our children from now on.
In spiritual upbringing, the first thing is to make them aware of Tawheed ( the oneness of Allah) and beliefs, and to instill a dislike for atheistic actions, polytheistic actions, innovative actions, and infidelity. To do this, it is necessary that our children first learn the teachings of the Quran, or arrange for Quranic education at home along with English education, because it is often seen that those who receive pure English education and live in that environment do not give importance to Quranic education and its commands. Therefore, children should be taught from the etiquette of urination and defecation to the duties and obligations in the light of Islamic teachings.
Here, to the extent of my limited experience, I want to advise every responsible person that there is no need to worry much about children studying in madrasas, but children studying in modern schools should memorize at least the 30th part of the Quran by the age of ten, and as many selected and concise hadiths as possible, ranging from 40 to 100 hadiths, and also memorize the necessary supplications and adhkaar. Remember that children are imitative, they will imitate their parents, friends, and environment, so their circle and environment should also be religious, and as a guardian, you will have to become a role model for them. Keep in mind that whatever you do, it is being captured in the camera of the child's mind, and they will repeat it.
In spiritual upbringing, practical application is also necessary along with religious and Islamic education, mere talk will not benefit. That's why I said that children are more inclined towards what they see being done. If they see you using a mobile phone, they will use a mobile phone, and if they see you reciting the Quran, they will recite the Quran.
Take them to the Masjid to pray with you and stand them next to you in the row, show them how to perform ablution, show them how to take a bath, and inform them about other methods of cleanliness. If you have the strength to fast in Ramadan, make them fast, etc.
Familiarize them with good morals, such as saying salutations, saying "Alhamdu lillah" when sneezing, respecting elders, serving parents and teachers, treating relatives with kindness, and remembering Allah (dhikr) while sleeping, waking, and going to the bathroom.
Similarly, inform them about bad morals and prevent them from doing so, such as hitting other children, being disrespectful to elders, abusing parents, stealing, lying, backbiting, etc.
The third and final thing is to keep children away from social media as much as possible. Never buy a mobile phone and give it to them permanently, especially not for internet use, not even for playing games. Children need to play and exercise in childhood, so let them play and exercise at home or with good friends, participate in school sports programs, or practice things with pen and paper that will give their mind peace and benefit. Set a reward for this and see how they will forget all play and turn towards you.
Ten supportive things that guardians should keep in mind to provide good upbringing to children and protect their childhood in the era of social media:
(1) For upbringing, it is necessary that a person has a high character, he should not be one who gets angry on every little thing, scolds children for minor mistakes, and shouts, but rather one who warns in a good manner and if he has caused trouble, he should forgive them. In other words, understand that you can provide good upbringing and best training to children in a loving environment. Yes, unnecessary quarrels between husband and wife, expression of anger and bitterness, and mutual resentment are obstacles to good upbringing.
(2) Just as we need to create a good environment in our home, similarly, the entire environment of children should be good wherever they come and go, such as school, friends, parks, and picnic spots. Don't go to any party or function yourself or take your children where evil things are done. In one sentence, understand that children's eyes should not fall on evil because children are affected by it and mold themselves in the same way.
(3) If Allah has blessed you with many children, show equal love to all, and if there is no justice in buying gifts or making decisions, the effect of upbringing is lost. If you are not the parents of the children but only guardians, teachers, or mentors, and many children are under your supervision, then you should also behave with equal love towards all, otherwise, the effect of your upbringing and education will end.
(4) There is no harm in teaching computer programming to children who have become aware, i.e., those over ten years old. However, the freedom of the net computer has the same danger as the net mobile. Similarly, keep children away from TV or game devices. Parents think, what's the harm in playing games? I say, what's the benefit of playing such worldly games except wasting time and its negative effects on the mind?
(5) If you want to keep children away from the harm of mobile and social media, then use mobile less in front of them because when its use is more in front of children, the image of mobile will be fixed in their mind and they will demand it from you. If you forbid, this demand will take the form of stubbornness, and when you are sleeping or have forgotten your mobile at home, they will use the mobile. Remember, refrain from putting the net mobile in their hands and do not familiarize them with the functions of the mobile. Now is the time for books and pens, so put books and pens in their hands.
(6) Develop the qualities of a mentor within yourself, start advising yourself, be a model of morals, and solve children's matters according to their psychology. Children become spoiled, not trained, by fulfilling every demand and stubbornness, prioritizing love for children over training, encouraging them instead of correcting their mistakes, or expressing disapproval instead of praise for good deeds. Remember, the mentor's shortcomings are the children's shortcomings, and the mentor's goodness is the children's goodness.
(7) Every child has a natural inclination and innate ability, which the mentor needs to recognize to provide proper guidance based on that natural ability and to nurture their innate talent to the fullest.
(8) To protect your children from the temptations and satanic tactics of the time, seek refuge in Allah and make plenty of supplications. Supplications for the protection of children are reported from the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), but never use amulets (taweez) or Imam Daman, as it is polytheism (Shirk). Also, take care of their health. Eat and feed your subordinates wholesome food. Wholesome food has a pure effect on the body and soul, and forbidden and impure food has a bad effect.
(9) Considering that a person generally tends towards idleness and sensual activities in free time, the moments of children's free time, especially during long vacations, should be spent on activities that enhance their awareness, sharpen their intellect, and refine their etiquette and morals.
(10) Islamic stories will be very beneficial for the reform and upbringing of children. At bedtime, tell children true stories about prophets, scholars, and companions(Sahaba and Sahabiyaat), which include truthfulness, justice, trustworthiness, courage, charity, love for the Sunnah, good behavior with parents, respect for elders, kindness to younger ones, morals, and Islamic etiquette and rules. Through storytelling, Islamic teachings will be instilled in children in the best way.
These were my thoughts and conclusions regarding the protection of children from today's temptations, which I have written down with the hope that there may be some good in it for us, which, when put into practice, will safeguard our children's childhood and make their future bright and shining.
May Allah protect our children from the evil and temptations of the time and the grasp of Satan. Ameen.
